(At Rise: G.P. has fallen asleep in his chair listening to his I pod. KIT ENTERS, (SR) dumps backpack. She picks over his breakfast, eating only the strawberries. GIN ENTERS)
GIN You. Go to school.
KIT I just have to say hello to her -
GIN You'll miss the bus.
KIT I already did.
GIN I can't drive you this morning. Somebody's coming -
GIN You'll have to take your bike. Now go -
KIT (Toward bedroom) Lemme see her!
GIN (Blocking her) Shush! You'll wake your grandfather!
KIT He won't mind -
GIN You wake him, you change him. Now go to school.
KIT Lemme just bring her some water.
GIN She has water.
KIT She needs a hug.
GIN She needs peace.
KIT I won't even touch her, I'll just look. I'll be so quiet -
GIN You're never quiet.
KIT You're not the boss of her.
GIN Well, I'm the boss of you.
KIT I'm the boss of me.
GIN Go now, or I'm calling your father.
KIT He's at a meeting and you can't interrupt him no matter what.
GIN We'll see about that -
KIT You'll be sorry.
GIN You'll be sorry when he finds out you missed the bus again.
KIT You'll get him fired and then we'll have to lose all our money and get kicked out of our apartment and move in with you and I'll have to sleep right here in the middle of your floor next to Grandpa and -
GIN Get up! I don't need this today, do you hear me? Get your bike and go.
KIT Except the tire's flat.
GIN You need a spanking. That's what.
KIT Shhh! You'll wake him.
GIN He needs to eat . . . where's his strawberries? Agh! Go fix your bicycle!
KIT I don't have a pump.
GIN I can't drive you! And I've had enough of your mischief -
KIT She's dead.
KIT She's dead, I know it.
GIN Stop saying that! She's not dead -
KIT You been hiding her in there for three days -
GIN Stop that nonsense right now!
KIT Why isn't she out here with Grandpa?
GIN She doesn't like to sit out here anymore.
KIT She does she does she does - this is her spot!
GIN It's not good for her out here, she's not continent. You don't know what that means, and you're not the one who has to clean up after her either -
KIT I would!
GIN There, now see what you've done.
G.P. (A groan or a fart, waking, removing his earphones) Why aren't you in school - don't tell me they kicked you out?
KIT Not yet.
GIN She missed the bus again!
G.P. I'll drive her.
GIN Eat your breakfast, Dad.
G.P. Did you do your homework?
KIT I didn't have any.
GIN I didn't have any. Huh!
KIT I didn't. They can't give you homework when it's a Jewish holiday.
G.P. Never heard of that.
GIN 'Cause it ain't true, Dad, no such thing. They're gonna keep you back again.
G.P. That's a damn shame.
GIN Eat your breakfast, Dad, I've gotta clean up before -
G.P. This is a bran muffin. Give it to the dog.
KIT I will!
GIN Don't you dare! There's raisins in it, Dad.
G.P. Raisins suck. Bran sucks.
KIT School sucks.
G.P. Getting' old sucks.
KIT Getting bossed around sucks -
G.P. Everything sucks -
KIT Except strawberries.
G.P. And chocolate. Strawberries and chocolate do not suck.
KIT Nope. They don't.
G.P. And when it comes time for my last meal, all's I want is strawberries -
GIN -- and chocolate, we know. Enough of that, now. You're gonna be late!
KIT 'Cause you won't let me see her!
G.P. She might like company while she has her breakfast -
GIN She's not hungry.
KIT 'Cause she needs a walk!
G.P. A walk might do her good.
GIN You two don't know what you're talking about. You got a tire pump, Dad?
G.P. In the garage. Gimme my walker and I'll see if I can -
GIN You stay put. She can get it.
G.P. That's right - go on now, and you can see her after school.
GIN No, she can't! Don't go promising things you can't deliver -
KIT Why can't I?
GIN 'Cause you're gonna have detention for being late!
G.P. Better she should see her now, then.
GIN Oh, for heaven's sake. Empty your pockets.
GIN You want in? Empty 'em.
G.P. What do you care what's in her pockets?
GIN I know her tricks! Empty 'em! This one too! Whoop! There it is! See that, Dad? Oreo cookies! You're not goin' in there 'til you give me those -
Copyright 2008 by Kelly DuMar. Do not reprint without permission.
(for more information e-mail Kelly DuMar)