Storytelling is a parenting art we practice in writing diaries for our children.
We all have a voice that rises from our hearts and says,
"Let me tell you a story. . . "
When we keep diaries for our children we are creating a storytelling hearth in our homes, gathering our family around us, spellbinding them with tales of their favorite protagonists, teaching them to value themselves as heroes on life's journey.
Types of diary stories I have written to my three children over the last 20 years include:
The Poetry of Everyday Life - shows parents the value of quoting the poetic things children say every day. Children have a gift for speaking imaginatively about everyday events that we have grown accustomed to.
The Child as Teacher - our children can teach us everything we need to know to parent them well, if we are willing to watch, listen, and learn. They speak in metaphor, poetry, and story, always inviting us to see both the world we live in and to see our role as parent through their eyes.
Words of Wisdom and Advice - Never give your children advice in the diary, but take and use any they offer you. It will contain wisdom you once possessed and lost, and writing it down can be part of the process of reclaiming it. Children absorb what is important to you and they often give you just the words of comfort or direction that you need in the moment you need to hear them.
Mischief Stories - these stories show parents how to use diary writing to unwind from stress by writing about the normal mishaps of parenting children as they grow. Every child sometimes plays Tom Sawyer or Eloise. Written in the calm after the storm, these stories help parents and kids appreciate the humorous side of misbehavior and learn from their mistakes.
What I Want to Be When I Grow Up - Most children spend time planning their careers in early childhood. Though their plans may go through significant revision by the time they graduate from high school these early projections may be significant. Recording your child's career hopes, plans and dreams can help guide them and explore the possibilities. The diaries may later remind them of dreams they may have left behind in their childhood that are worth reclaiming.
Memory Sculpture - Writing about a special moment is the perfect way to give it a permanent shelf life. Many moments of childhood may live beyond the diary door if you take them there, and leave them there. You can write a snapshot of a moment, catching your child in quintessential childlike motion, making mystical gestures they may soon outgrow. They may use them some day like fertilizer to grow something for themselves.
Spirituality - Children have powerful spiritual questions and interests. Their questions may provoke thoughts and feelings for you to wrestle with. And you may find they have some answers for you, or that their innocent or inventive point of view offers new possibilities for your own understanding.
Milestone & Rite of Passage Stories - Children have a natural desire to understand the unique way they grow and develop and the passages they personally encounter in that lead them toward growth and achievement. You think you will remember these milestones as children experience them, but sadly, you forget quickly. Give details to make slice-of-life portraits. Recording milestones can help you evaluate what the accomplishment means in your decision making about your child in the future.
Conflict as Quest - these stories teach parents that, as children grow, so do the complexity of parent's concerns. Conflict and sibling rivalry are normal parts of everyday life with children, and there are rich rewards for parents who use diary writing to transform everyday conflicts into stories of problem-solving, relationship-building and dragon-taming.
Write the stories, keep the fire, tend the hearth. When they leave they will take the diaries with them and always return, return to the flame, and pass it on.
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